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Don’t Mention … Most Things

by martingbutler@outlook.com

If you don’t want your “ friends” to think you are a weirdo then for fucks sake don’t try and say anything even remotely intelligent – like, “you are going to die”.

Some advice: when chatting with your mates, you will be on safe ground if you restrict your conversation to topics such as fashion, travel, home improvement, football, work, motor cars, cosmetics, breast implants, bone cancer, animal slaughter, death … Oops, got a bit carried away there – cross out the last three. I guess you already know that people are in deep denial about the realities of life, and they will not thank you for reminding them. So polite social conversation should always be centered around trivial issues – Justin Bieber’s new hairstyle, a new rejuvenating face cream, your holiday pics, beer, your latest restaurant discovery, that person you both know whose partner is cheating on them – and so on. You will lose “friends” very quickly if you talk about anything real – it will scare the shit out of them, and they will hate you for it. You will be labeled weirdo, and in former times you would have been burned at the stake. Today you will just be socially isolated, and if you are injured in a traffic accident, no one will come to your aid, and your doctor will over-prescribe your medicines to put you out of your misery. Who knows, society might just create special places for people like you who want to deal with reality – far away from a general population busy indulging their narcissism on Facebook, watching porno, taking their antidepressants and anxiety medication, deep in resentment and sadness, but optimistic about the future all the same because someone told them to be – and above all they wouldn’t want to be weird.

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